Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
