I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
