how do flat chested girls get laid?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
porn star boner night. come get it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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