Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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