i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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