we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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