we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He has the fingertips of a God
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