this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
