arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I looked at my own cervix.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
