walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
i think i just lost a toe
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
