And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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