MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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