i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I wear drunk well.
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