Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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