So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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