Sry I called you an 8
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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