windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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