somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
