That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
