How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
where are you?
Hypothermia
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
