New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
