So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
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Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize