If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
