One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
