did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
