I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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