Do you still have your period?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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