My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
