i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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