they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
