if i can run in heels then i can drive
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
