How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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