There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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