I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
