i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
