you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
