the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
