I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
