K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
If that was your dad, he is hot
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
