Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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