he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
