I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
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