i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
