i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
