I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
