Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
