yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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