If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
