I'm so fucking centered right now
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
