i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
