If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
