OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
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At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
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It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
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