I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
