IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize