I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
