Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
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For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
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