awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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