You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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