Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
