put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
