WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I will die if light touches me.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
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