She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She even gives head with a lisp.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
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Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
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I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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