2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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