I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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