I don't think brook has ever known best
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
