oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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