After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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