Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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