He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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