Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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