I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
